Sharing her story. Mena Suvari is finest recognized for her roles in American Pie and American Beauty — however now, she’s sharing the extraordinarily troublesome struggles she confronted by means of the years. In her new ebook, The Great Peace, the 42-year-old actress revealed that she was raped by her older brother’s good friend when she was 12. After that, every part modified.
“I by no means was all proper once more,” Suvari wrote within the memoir, accessible now. “It feels unusual once I expertise second-guessing myself once I wish to select the phrase ‘rape.’ As a result of I didn’t find yourself within the hospital. I didn’t find yourself unconscious. However isn’t simply that I stated no sufficient?”
Shortly after the assault, the mannequin started dabbling in substance abuse — consuming something from alcohol and marijuana to crystal meth.
“I took medication to numb myself from the ache,” she defined. “Alcohol. Pot. Coke. Crystal meth. Acid. Ecstasy. Mushrooms. Mescaline. It was my approach of detaching from the hell of my existence – and surviving.”
The Six Toes Underneath alum recalled how meth “turn out to be my life, then it took over my life” all through her time at school.
“The hours I used to be at college had been spent excited about getting out of college and doing a little strains,” the Rhode Island native wrote. “I stayed up till late at evening, slept a pair hours, then repeated the day. Earlier than lengthy I used to be pulling out my small gold lacquered butterfly embossed compact mirror and snorting a line within the faculty toilet throughout a break.”
Suvari defined that in her drug habit, she obtained right into a poisonous relationship with a person she known as “the satan himself.” She met him three years earlier than American Magnificence and American Pie got here out, when she was 17. He was 26 on the time and he or she rapidly moved in with him. Quickly after, the verbal abuse started.
“The entire time I labored on American Magnificence, I used to be grinding on empty: working to excellent my half, submitting to [his] calls for for kinky threesomes no less than three or 4 occasions every week, and pretending in each circumstances that every part was okay,” the producer wrote, including that she as soon as contracted an STD throughout a threesome that he wished. “Besides it wasn’t. … Little by little he whittled away the skinny layer of self-worth I had left.”
The SAG Award winner, who’s now fortunately married to Michael Hope and welcomed her first son, Christopher, in April, was hesitant to share her story. Nonetheless, when she discovered previous poetry and diaries she had written as a child, she got here throughout a suicide be aware that she had no reminiscence of writing.
“I felt utterly compelled to lastly discuss, I felt like I wanted to simply breathe and I used to be uninterested in preventing, operating, enjoying, appearing,” she instructed USA Today. “It simply felt higher to me to dwell my life authentically.”
Whereas it’s “nonetheless uncomfortable” to speak about her previous, Suvari added that it’s a course of she’s completely happy to proceed working by means of.
“I spent a lot time preventing myself, I spent a lot time being arduous on myself, residing in that ache and remorse,” the American Horror Story alum instructed the outlet, including that the #MeToo motion additionally impressed her to be emotionally susceptible. “I labored with the religious trainer as soon as and he or she known as it sitting in your poopy diapers. I don’t need anybody to really feel unhealthy for me. I simply wish to have conversations about it, like what can we do about it. As a result of I’ve sat in these moments, I’ve been in my poopy diapers for a very long time. I don’t wish to really feel unhealthy for myself anymore. I don’t wish to give that energy away.”